


Unwanted and Ignored

by ignorantlove



Category: IT (1990), IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King, It (2017
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Pennywise (IT), Angsty Richie Tozier, Depressed Richie Tozier, Gay Richie Tozier, How Do I Tag, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, My First Work in This Fandom, Teenage Losers Club (IT), literally just angst, mentions of abuse, richies parents are bad, this might be confusing ngl
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-20
Updated: 2020-01-20
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:35:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22328695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ignorantlove/pseuds/ignorantlove
Summary: Richie is tired. Tired of everyone constantly degrading him. Constantly telling him that he's annoying and he'll never amount to anything.(Basically, Richie is pointing out what is wrong with him and his life)tw; mentions of abuse
Comments: 2
Kudos: 139





	Unwanted and Ignored

**Author's Note:**

> I have no clue what I was thinking while I was writing this, but I thought it was appropriate.

Richie ‘Trashmouth” Tozier was fed up.

No really, he was just tired of everything and everyone.

His friends don’t take him seriously, ever. It’s something that he has come to terms with because it was something that would never change. He could never say anything without someone responding _“Stop being so annoying, Richie.”_ or the occasional _“Beep beep, Richie. This isn’t about you.”_

Richie can’t hold a conversation He rattles on mindlessly, no control over what he says or does. It’s not his fault, it’s just that his body reacts before his brain can process. But he still blames himself for it. 

He uses humor to cope with his problems, and can’t go five minutes without making a joke about being with Eddie’s mom. The jokes help, they help a lot. It felt as if he was the ‘Two-Bit’ of the group, the wise-cracker. The jokes put a mask over him, hiding his broken façade. 

His home life is terrible. He hates going home every night and can’t wait to leave the next morning. His house is an empty shell just like him, as his mother is always passed out on the couch in a puddle of her own vomit and his father out with the next whore he can get his hands on. Sometimes his father is home, and it’s scary when he is. Richie is always in trouble for something, whether it was neglecting to clean up the empty beer bottles from around his mother or the puke stains that have accumulated on the couch. When this happens, his father always calls him names, most of them he would never repeat. He is hit repeatedly until he is found begging for mercy. 

He never said anything to the Losers though, because he knew that it wasn’t anything like Eddie constantly being poisoned by his mother or Bev with her father. They don’t question occasional bruises that appear like spots on a dalmatian, but he doesn’t tell, either.

School life is no better for Richie, anyway. His teachers are always droning on, and making comments about him whether he was there or not. He both couldn’t sit still or keep his mouth shut. They ignored him for the most part but blamed him for things he had no control over. 

He also had problems with a few kids, who are far worse than bullies. Henry Bowers and his gang of delinquents were dangerous. Rumors were going around that they killed a few kids and dumped their bodies in the quarry. These rumors were always going around, though. Richie had met Henry’s cousin, Connor, at the arcade one day, and they played one of the fighter games together. Richie had won and asked Connor if he wanted to go again. Connor had hesitated as he saw the Bowers gang coming. He had homophobic slurs thrown at him from left to right and Richie was so humiliated. 

Maybe it wouldn’t have been so bad, but Richie felt as if he had just been outed. He thought that they had every right to throw the slurs at him because it was true. He knew it was fucked up, that he only had eyes for guys, but it just felt so right.   
Richie is afraid of many things. For one he is not very fond of werewolves. 

But maybe that’s what it is. Maybe he’s just afraid. Afraid of being forgotten. Afraid of being exposed. Afraid of making a stupid decision that would end his life. But he doesn’t know how to show his fears. Sometimes, he wants to be the center of attention because it makes him feel real, makes him feel like an actual human being. Because maybe, just maybe, if someone just paid attention to him, he would feel real. He would feel wanted.

He works hard to pull himself together every day, to paste on that smile that everyone seems to despise. He puts on those hideous Hawian shirts to maybe stand out. He stares at himself in the mirror with those big glasses that make him look bug-eyed. He just wants to punch the reflection, to scream what he feels. But he can’t, because that would be just another attempt to steal the spotlight from somebody else who deserves it more than he does. 

These thoughts, these thoughts make him sound selfish. He has a roof over his head (maybe not a good one, but it’s there), and people who he could call friends. Yet, he’s over here begging and pleading for more. His situation could be worse, he could be in a situation like Mike’s, who is consistently rejected by society because of the color of his skin.

Richie is stuck. He’s clawing to get out, and he partially wishes that he could be someone else. Someone who didn’t annoy his friends so much by just existing. Someone who wasn’t beat at home because of their parents' mistakes. Someone who wasn’t lectured at school for their inability to focus. Someone who wasn’t consistently jumped and harassed by the local gang of psychos. Someone who wasn’t in constant fear that their big secret of liking men would be let out. Someone who didn’t yearn to be recognized by their peers yet regrets wishing for such a thing. However, he was still stuck as the annoying, closeted pre-teen that nobody liked. 

It was fair to say that Richie ‘Trashmouth” Tozier was fed up.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!!! Please leave comments and maybe kudos :)


End file.
